i'm so hurt. so hurt. hurt so much. why does this all happen why me
why did you leave, you swore you'll never leave me and now you do.
save me
Thursday, April 16, 2009
; 2:38 AM
i don't understand the people around me. They either emo to their sleep or live their life trying to diss me. Seriously, tell me the point you scums do that. It's damn boring being among you guys. No fun, nothing new.
For one thing, don't put feelings to what i said if you don't know anything. If you can say that as a joke, why can't i? if you can get pissed over it, why can't i? Every single human being is selfish. in one way or another, conscious or unconsciously, they try to make this world the way they want it to be. Don't make me seem like such a disease if you yourself are a pain to bear with. Try not to understand me when you don't, not to say fight me when you can't.
Hate me or diss me, one day you'll need me. Admit it, has happened before.
This isn't my ego talking, if you think so, fuck a dog. Such a damn shame on you people. You live your fantasy life, not that i don't live mine. but at least i don't think i overdo it. Say one thing, mean another. Infront of me you act like your my friend, but behind me, you slowly try to kill me. Fail. You fail. You won't be better than me, because i'm not one to be compared with. I don't want to be associated with your kind.
I'm not perfect neither are you people. you know me, i won't hurt you physically. I'll mentally rape you till you yourself seek forgiveness. Happened before. Admit or not, you know it yourself. Throw me aside, use me when you're in distress, call me when you need me, i'll be there, have i not? Ask yourself, is it friendship when it's all one way. You're bullshit. I am not asking for anything, i just expect you to ponder about it.
Stop being such a wuss, wear clothes that bring you to hell. Do shit that burns you even before you get burned. Talk like those torments aren't real. You never make an effort to change, it's not like i've never told you about it. Why do i even care, what or who are you to me. You are no one. Yet i care. Because i am afraid, i am afraid that when you get scared, there won't be any time left at all. I am afraid because it human nature, that we won't change till it near the end or near a calamity. This ain't a movie, that calamity that comes won't stop. In terrifying fashion you shall die, with your eyes wide open and all your sins littered upon your dirty and tattered body. Aren't you afraid?
I did my share. I hope there's time left for me, for us. I hope you don't forget where you came from and to where you shall go back to. It's real. It becoming more real by each day. Can't any of you see it? Why the dull heart, why the pink lips, why the dark eyes. No one ever understands, no one cares. It's not about me, it's about us. You only care about you nightmares. How bout those nightmares that haunt you in you sleep or when you're awake. We're all lost. You, me and them, we're lost. We've lost. They won, they have invaded us, without us knowing.
I'm not saving me, nor you. No one can. Save yourself. It's too late.
Monday, March 30, 2009
; 1:45 AM
i don't understand that thing you call love
the dysphoric rocker.
jan.
eighteen.
fuck me up and i'll fuck you up. i don't live for you, nor you for me.
i don't care what you think, your opinion of me won't change me one bit. i've had enough of those.
